It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I knew it would happen, but I wanted to convince myself it could be different. Yet, exactly as my very first blog post predicted-it's basically been a year since I last wrote on here!
Why do I this? I get interested and caught up in the excitement of something; then I lose interest. Get too busy; inundate myself; then BAM! Cold turkey-I'm bored. Or just forget about it.
Today's other case-in-point: Goodreads. I finally joined, and I'm totally excited. I love things that show "progress". A sort of instant gratification that maybe while I don't carry a kindle or a book around with me all the time, I can still prove I've read a variety and number of books! Then there's the side that suddenly wants to read all these other recommended books that sound interesting! A website that takes my slightly unusual taste and offers real recommendations rather than me wandering around Barnes and Noble hoping something will catch my interest. It's gonna be bad! Or good? After all, April 1 began my personal development goals for the rest of the year.
Personal development. Doesn't that sound inspiring? Or horrible.
It makes me think of overachievers. And slackers who use the term to justify procrastination. "I'm developing myself personally." That's why I'm addicted to Pinterest. Craft ideas, books and quotes to learn from, humor from clever people, beautiful art, etc. Absorbing all that makes me a better, more interesting person! In a way...
But then we come back to this: all the knowledge in the world doesn't do a thing for me if it doesn't affect my day-to-day life.
So I've become a slacker! After all, I'm busy with work, friends, relationship, Bible study, and my dog. I don't have time to just read. Even for entertainment unless I'm on a flight! I barely have time to make my bed.
Or do I?
I've been taking stock of my life. It's interesting what a relationship does. I blame him for being busy, not having time for other things I used to do, for the cheesy state of mind that just makes me happy and not really care if I get my chores done this Saturday or next, the choice to see him and go out to eat instead of hitting the gym...
Yet this relationship also is making me grow up. I am realizing that I can't let things slide by for another couple years. I have no idea if things will "work out" long term for us; but I know that if they do, I want to be a blessing and bring good things to a long-term relationship. I don't want to have childish, immature, or irresponsible baggage to weigh things down. Frankly, a year from now, whether I'm still in a relationship or if I'm single, I want to be in a better place. It will also be a new decade of my life. If I don't get my act together before and close to when I turn 30, when will I? I want to continue and enjoy the next 30 years! Not be struggling to recover or repay mistakes of my "young adult" years. Time to take all that knowledge and tips from the vast network of people in my real life and people in my virtual life (facebook, pinterest, etc) and actually start using it. I heard a line about two types of people: those who wish, and those who will. I wish for a lot. Time to decide I will do things instead.
So I've got 4 areas I intend to improve upon by the close of 2013.
Spiritual
Financial
Health
Character
Some of this will be helped out by "journaling" or creating some sort of record to motivate me, keep me on track, or point out that I haven't been doing it. So I'm back to the blog! If I can do a monthly check-in and write about how I feel or what I want to improve on, I think it'll serve as a measure of accountability. We'll see!
Websites that are points of inspiration to me:
Fit Bit
Financial Freedom
Crazy Love-Developing Authentic Faith
Developing character and knowledge (yep, it's Goodreads!)
