When the room spins 'round...

The room almost felt like it started spinning on Tuesday morning:

One of those women's appointments that you're really supposed to have annually.  Yet for people like myself who just love doctors, it was something more like 4 years in between.  Typical appointment, physical, exam, blood taken, etc.  Then suddenly, a "hmm, here's a cyst."  Okay, I think.  That doesn't sound like a big deal.  Then I look at the doctor's face.  She's very serious and studying my face.

Doctor's orders for a mammogram (I'm 27 years old for crying out loud!  I thought I had at least 13 years before going through that torture that I've heard my mom and so many other women complain about!).  So now a week in between the doctor "finding a lump" and my mammogram/ultrasound appointment.  Great.

Talk about a week of ups and downs!  I know these things are common, and that they're commonly no big deal.  But just try convince your emotions of that at random points during the day when your logic can't seem to win out...I really don't think it will be anything.  But the nagging lack of knowledge about what it is precisely is frustrating.

The main reason for the doctor's concern and contributing factor to my own occasionally unsure-ness is that almost exactly 7 years ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It's a sobering week for me (and my family) although, at the same time, we are at peace for we know that He who has been with us before is with us still and will be again.

So what do we learn from this?

I suddenly realize that I need to have some paperwork/information sorted and organized.  I find myself not so concerned with some of the little things that aren't really so important.  And right now--I'm kicking  myself for not getting the exam sooner.

Recommendation as of Friday evening (and 5 days out from the next time I get to learn anything):

Get your check-up.  Keep up with your own self-exams.  And don't let a little discomfort with a doctor appointment keep you from taking care of yourself.  Life's short.  Life's important, and there are more people whose lives are tied to yours and who care about you than you realize.  I'm so grateful for my family caring about what's happening with me, and even more importantly--they care about how I'm doing mentally and emotionally.  They mean the world to me.

The song I heard twice on my way to my dr. appt and the lyrics that speak to my heart right now:

Let The Waters Rise 


Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?

sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach

God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You

God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You

Ohhh

There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You




  (Mikeschair group)